Why Strong Classroom Management Is Compassionate Classroom Management

It may sound counterintuitive, but holding students accountable is one way to show that we care about them.

I didn’t become a teacher to enforce rules.  You probably didn’t either.

You do want to be supportive and understanding; the type of teacher everyone remembers fondly from school.  You want students to know you care about them as people first and students second.  You want your class to be enjoyable; a place students look forward to and want to be in.  

At the same time, you want to hold your students to a high standard.  You want a classroom filled with kindness and respect.  You want your students to be challenged academically.  You want them accountable and responsible.  You want your classroom to be a place of excellence.

You want ALL of that because, frankly, the alternative doesn’t sound like much fun.

How can you balance high standards with compassion?  In this article, we argue that strong classroom management is compassionate classroom management.  

What does compassionate classroom management look like?

1. You set clear behavior expectations. 

Why this is compassionate:

They’ll never admit it, but most students want rules. They want structure. They want the teacher to be in control. (If the teacher isn’t in charge, who is?)  

Classrooms without clear boundaries are stressful for students.  Chaotic environments force them to be on guard, to wonder, “What’s going to happen today?”  At worst, a class without clear behavior expectations is fertile ground for bullying.   

Limit your list of class rules to 4-6.  Most teachers have a similar set of classroom expectations.  Something along the lines of:

• • Be respectful of yourself and others.
  • Be on time and prepared with all necessary materials.
  • Use language that is respectful and kind.
  • Act in a way that supports learning for all members of the class.
  • Follow all school rules.

2. You teach the rules to your students.

Why this is compassionate:

When students cannot master academic content, we don’t immediately send them to the office.  We review the concepts and, often, provide another chance.  We help them.

Depending on the age of your students (or school culture), it might be necessary to help your students learn proper behavior — yes, even in high school. 

What do we mean by “teach the rules”?  

Let’s say your rule is “Always treat others with respect.”

What exactly does “respectful behavior” look like when walking into class or while the teacher is talking?    What does it mean to be respectful while walking in the hall during a passing period?  What about when students work in groups?

Examples help students understand exactly what you expect from them.  

3. You communicate your expectations for each new activity.

Why this is compassionate:

A 15-minute chunk of teacher-led direct instruction, a 25-minute group assignment, and a quick partner discussion.  These activities come with slightly different behavior expectations.  Students may not always catch on. 

By constantly communicating your behavior expectations (as opposed to assuming the students know what you want) you’re making it easier for your students to meet your expectations.  

Communicate what you want from students, and they’ll likely comply.  If you make them guess, you never know what you’ll get.  In the first month, behavior reminders may take several minutes.  Once you lay the groundwork, simply post your expectations as a visual reminder.  

Most students want rules and structure. They want the teacher to be in control. (If the teacher isn’t in charge, who is?)  

4. You’re consistent and you follow through.

Why this is compassionate:

Consistency is predictable and reliable.  Kids know what to expect.  Plus, the consistent application of rules prevents any questions about fairness or playing favorites.

Follow-through can be challenging, even for veteran teachers.  It’s easier (and less work) to enforce a behavior expectation.  We have tricked ourselves into thinking that empty warnings are somehow “nicer” than issuing a consequence.  If you believe an orderly classroom benefits your students, follow through is part of the deal. 

Your consequences need to be such that you feel comfortable enforcing them.  Consequences should be reasonable for the situation.  There is not a one-size-fits-all progression of consequences for everyone; think carefully about what will work for you so you can be consistent with them.  

For ideas on consequences, see this article on the best behavioral management tips.

5. You’re firm without being harsh or mean.

Why this is compassionate:

You’re probably familiar with the age-old advice “Don’t smile until Thanksgiving.”  It’s a long year and it’s easier to lighten up on rules than to clamp down on an out-of-control class.

That being said, sometimes teachers take the concept too far.  Afraid to show weakness — or any shred of humanity — they are overly harsh with their students.  

When you see student behavior that doesn’t meet your expectations, try your best to keep your emotions under control.  Simply smile (even before Turkey Day) and point to your posted rules or calmly remind the student of your expectations.  Avoid yelling or chastizing students.

6. You’re friendly without being “friends”.

Why this is compassionate:

Some teachers are tempted to let classroom issues slide because they want to be the students’ friend – or more accurately, to be liked by the students.  It’s human nature to want people to like you.  If the students like us, the thinking goes, they’ll be more cooperative.  

However, when the line between adult and student is blurred, it’s more likely that students will look for ways to take advantage of the situation.  Then, if you decide enough is enough, your consequences will be met with confusion and resentment.

7. You watch the way students treat each other.

Why this is compassionate:

A community is largely defined by its interactions.  If your students aren’t treating each other with kindness, it will undermine your efforts to create a welcoming, safe space.

Look for warning signs that reflect a lack of compassion between students.  

• Eye rolling when a student speaks
• Staring or back-turning
• Loudly laughing or encouraging others to laugh at a student
• Ignoring or excluding
• Name-calling

Classroom management is mostly done for your students.

Of course, class rules are designed to aid instruction and to make your job easier.  But, most of the classroom management you do is for the benefit of your students.  You create a safe place for learning.  You set the tone. 

How you set the tone is important.  Are you clear with your expectations?  Do you make it easy for students to follow your rules?  Do you enforce the rules calmly and without anger?  

Sure, there will always be a few students who roll their eyes when you remind the class (yet again) of your behavior expectations.  But remember, you’re doing it for them.

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Brad has taught history at the middle and high school levels for 19 years, almost exclusively in American public schools.  He has a master’s in educational technology and is passionate about elevating the status of professional educators.